guy:

omg ok so i was at my locker and i overheard a guy talking about how some other guy kept making eye contact with him and the guy was like “i think he’s gay, that’s so fuckin weird” and a girl who was getting her stuff beside the guy was like “yea that’s very weird considering you’re ugly as fuck” and she walked away like a bad bitch and everyone’s hands went over their mouths and it was the greatest experience ever

(via parabatainerds)

I took a half nude in my exes room lol

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?

(Source: penceyprepofficial, via beauty-lies-deep-within)

pussylipgloss:

baelor:

IM SCREAMING WHO DID THIS

*gets life*

(via g-iggle)

(Source: calumpayne, via protect0r)

darning-socks:

Additional stages preceding Stage 4 include, but are not limited to:

  • the scene phase
  • meme-loving fuck
  • incessant roleplayer
  • brainwashed democrat

(via 305halloween)